Patong!

WARNING! Long post!

Okay folks! Here we go with the first installment of weekend stories. I'm finally sitting somewhere comfortable with a few minutes to relax. My sunburn has all turned to tan, save for the reddish purple color on my right thigh. My two-tone half-peeled face would be a great candidate for the next batman movie, but I'm sure that will pass as well. So on we go...

I'll take you back to the weekend of the 9th of August, our first weekend together as a class, and my first weekend in Thailand actually knowing anybody. As a group the decision was made to spend the better part of the weekend staying in Patong. Patong is what I like to call the "downtown" of the island, simply because it's expensive, it's where all the dance clubs are, and it's where an incredible number of people go on the weekend to party all night.

There's one major difference between say downtown Minneapolis and Patong, however; this is Thailand...

Our friend Kevin (Sully) is a member of a few couch sharing communities and let a few of us know that he had a contact here in Thailand that could probably hook us up with a cheap place to stay for a night in Patong. After some debate, most people booked their own accommodations for the weekend and were all set. I chose to stick with Sully and find a cheap option.

So we catch a tuk-tuk to Patong, which is on the opposite side of the island. Mark this as my first ride in a tuk-tuk. Nothing too crazy to tell about the trip, though we could have used a few more horsepower along the way. Arriving in Patong, it took quite a bit of time for us to actually find the guy and work out where we're going to stay. He's nice enough to give us a lift on his motorbike to the hotel. Mark this as my first time on a motorbike, quite the interesting experience with two 6-footers on the back and an amateur driver. Turns out the hotel isn't too far away behind the mall, around a corner, and down a dirt road. Recall I'm still new to Thailand at this time, so I'm kinda just going with the flow at this point.

The guy tells us that the name of the hotel is the Sherry Apartments, and upon arriving we are told that since it's not a hotel, we need to pay up front. No problem. We're actually given quite a nice room, take a few pictures and decide to head to the beach before meeting up with some classmates for dinner.

Now, Sully and I are both inclined to walk places, and as such come out of the hotel, think we know a short way to the beach and start walking. It didn't take long for us to feel off the beaten foreigner path and we pick up the pace toward the beach. Ignoring the solicitous (if that's not a word, it should be) shouts of a few Thai men, we make a right and head down a side street for a while. About the time we noticed that our elevation was significantly different from the beach ahead was about the time we found ourselves in a dead end, surrounded by little houses... with women in the doors... all of whom are quite delighted to see two tall foreign men wander their way. It didn't even take a knowing glance between the two of us. About face. Letting the calls of "Come to my rooooooom!" and "Hellllooooo, where are you gooooooing?" hit us straight in the backs, we hightail it back out past all the people who stared us down the street the first time, including the Thai men on the corner who were in fact trying to tell us we were going the wrong way.

I think it was about this point where it set clearly into my head that I was in Thailand and quite far away from home. Having a good chuckle, Sully and I set off again. Our plan was to head to the next main street and cut over there instead of down a side street. So we do, and find ourselves winding down an increasingly narrow road, all the while being stared down again by locals. We didn't pick up on the clues the first time, so why would we the second time? The only difference this time was that the road we walked was far longer before we hit a dead end and had to turn around and perform a perfect "foreigner walk." (That is, any form of walking that covers the same ground at least twice, and often 4-6 times, and makes it completely and utterly obvious that you're a foreigner and have no idea which way you're going. This must of course take place in front of as many locals as possible, among whom none shall have the ability to communicate well enough to provide any help whatsoever.)

By this time, the sun was setting and we decided just to go back to the hotel and change for dinner. On foot this time, we happen to notice the sign for our hotel says "Cherry Apartments" rather than Sherry, as we originally thought. It was sometime in this visit to the hotel that a whole lot of little clues started bouncing around in my head: we weren't in a very classy neighborhood, the rate we paid for the room was ridiculously low, we were told that "this isn't a hotel" (a statement we originally believed referred to the fact that they were apartments, and must have been designed for long term stay), and upon further recollection, there seemed to be quite a few female staff for an unfinished hotel that nobody knew about yet. Yes, if you've put it together by now, Sully and I had checked ourselves into some form of brothel, though I have to say quite the discreet one considering.

Sharing another good laugh, we grabbed our valuables and took off for dinner, having decided that we weren't going to try to find another hotel, but neither of us were going to answer the door if anybody knocked.

Now, if you've never been to a place like Patong, it will be hard for me to get you to grasp exactly what it's like. Walking down Bangla road involves wading through a sea of people from all parts of the world while either ignoring or rejecting the endless stream of people trying to sell you things, take you places, give you massages, or as is often the case, all three. And don't forget the ladyboys in drag and the random lizard or monkey being carried about, all of which are your fault if you don't see them first and warn the female classmates you're walking with. It is preferable to walk with a female, however, as then you spend most of your time rejecting flowers, jewelry, and clothes instead of massages, go-go dances, and other stuff we won't mention here.

A large group of us trainees did manage to get together, have a nice meal, and visit a few different bars/clubs. The favorite seems to have been the Irish bar with a live band. One of the things I actually found the most surprising was the prevalence of American music. Perhaps it was for lack of expectation entirely, but I really didn't expect to walk into a club and here the very same songs I would hear in a club in the Cities. I've since come to find this okay, as I may or may not completely insane the next time I have to watch a Thai music video... more on that in a few blogs.

All in all, quite a good time with the group in Patong. I'll have you know that nobody knocked on our door during the night and in the morning we all but threw the key at the disappointed looking owner and made our way out to find a ride home.

We did manage a few more fun things that day in Patong, like an absolutely glorious meal at Burger King and a miniature Blizzard from Dairy Queen, but for now I must go plan some lessons. I've got 3 hours of teaching this evening back at the school, so I must be off.

More stories to come! Feel free to comment and let me know if it's not working.